Relationships get so bananas when you start deciphering the other person’s love language.
Like I thought I was just acquaintances with this person because they never told me details about themselves and we just talked movies and writing . But then they made time to have coffee with me and they showed up out of breath because they ran. Like. RAN to be on time for coffee with me?
And I was like “i don’t mind waiting” cause I never want to run
But they said they wanted every minute they could get because I’m so busy usually
Which is when it clicked that I didn’t get how much they considered me a friend because I just straight away didn’t see MY signs of affection in them and went “cool! Casual buds it is.” But now that I’m seeing their signs of affection, I feel a little silly for dismissing them like that even though I felt like we could be best bros.
Anyway, some people show affection through time or intensity or commitment and not vocally. I really have to remember that!
Fyi- just in case you didn’t know.
TOUCH got a bro that likes to give high fives? Back slaps? Are they a hugger? Do they not blink an eye at cuddles?
QUALITY TIME this bro will (as op stated) sprint to spend every minute possible with you. Every second that you guys are together is a declaration of affection.
WORDS does your bro tell you how amazing and great and fantastic and wonderful you are all the time? Guess what…?
GIFTS do they buy you coffee? Snacks, energy drinks, spot you at the restaurant? Did that one key chain removed you of them? Ding ding!
ACTS are they always doing things for you? Ie: Nah bro, I got this, I can do that, need me to get anything for you, I can help with…?
PRO TIP - The way people show love is often how they receive love as well.
Something else I’ve noticed - people tend to value the love language they didn’t get much (or any) of in their childhood. For example, my family is poor so when I got gifts from my parents it was a huge deal, as opposed to hugs, “I love you”s, etc because those things were daily (and therefore kinda taken for granted). Gifts were rare and precious and special and even if they were small things they meant the world to me. And they still do.
I have a friend whose parents always had to travel for work and,,, you guessed it! Her main love language is quality time. Another friend has quite a non-communicative family and their main love language is words of affirmation. Our childhoods really do shape us more than we think.
Lavish mirror selfie while working on October Patreon content. Black, fat bodies surrounded by luxury is my kink. What’s yours? (Btw I know it’s not really a kink).
